23
I often avoid being even semi-serious on the internet because I fear sounding like the lead of a children’s sports movie giving a motivational speech when the team’s down fifty points at halftime (or like this). Though I’m mostly here for accountability’s sake, turning my pride against me so I can blog again.
While I like sharing what I think, I don’t like telling people what to believe. The fear of sounding self-important or giving the impression that I know better than most is what guilted me out of blogging years ago. Why pose as credible when I’m not? I’m no Mel Robbins or Tony Robbins, or any self-help guru with the last name Robbins for that matter.
But isn’t it cool how writing makes fleeting thoughts tangible? You can look at them, confront them, figure them out. People can read your writing and say “This part was interesting,” “You should go to therapy,” or “You should be a therapist.”
I saved this post for my birthday to write off anything corny as appropriate, but it’s all the same. Birthday, wedding, new year, whatever it is. There is no perfect time to take up space as yourself.
This year felt like four lifetimes. I graduated college, said goodbye to good people, met a ton of new people across the world, and then came home to friends old and new. I wrote a bit, wandered a lot, and spent way too much time concerned with other people’s opinions of me. I learned, unlearned, apologized, grew, and deleted Instagram from my phone about three times a day.
With that, here are my five favorite lessons from twenty-two:
True gratitude is either earned through practice or forced by tragedy, and only one of those is sustainable.
Self-compassion does not compromise self-discipline or self-help. A positive inner dialogue will not stop you from working on your flaws and weaknesses.
No matter how good your intentions are, no one is infallible and life is clumsy, so learn to be ok with messing up, and get good at cleaning up.
You can set boundaries without seeing life as black and white. There's a healthy way to navigate the gray space of things.
It’s ok to feel impatient and frustrated while fighting your internal battles, as long as you continue to fight.
Best tip/honorable mention: Reframing “discipline” as “momentum” has entirely shifted my perspective on self-improvement. It taught me to pick the buckets that are most important to me and drop whatever I can into them every day, even when it feels insignificant.
And now, in no particular order, my unstructured thoughts:
“Someone nice” has to be the worst response to “What are you looking for in a partner?” “I would enjoy the bare minimum” is almost better.
Skateboarding is fun again. It’s cool not to worry about how good I am at a hobby. I can just enjoy it and meet people.
We need a cooler word for protein. Preferably something fun. Our ancestors did not concern themselves with macro-friendly mozzarella sticks. More on this soon.
Jewish people reposting Kanye songs with antisemitic lyrics. Why?
If anyone is interested in opening a drive-thru diner with me let me know. I’m extremely serious.
That’s all for now. I hope to see you all here again while I’m twenty-three.
